This is a common question in social situations, and while it might just be seen as an inconsequential small talk, on par with commenting on the weather, I've always found the implications of this question disturbing, and I was glad to hear a recent Abraham CD address the issue. Here are some reasons why the question not as innocuous as it seems, and what you can do, if, like me, you find it annoying and intrusive.
Why should a person be defined by their job/career?
There is a tendency to use a person's job/career as a means of pigeonholing them. Certain professions have certain stereotypes associated with them (accountants are boring, artists are starving and irresponsible, lawyers are unethical and money-grubbing, etc). And as unfair and inaccurate as these stereotypes may be, it is undeniable that people do form certain assumptions (maybe based on their own personal biases) about you based on your job title. And the chances are that these assumptions have little to do with the kind of person ou actually are!
Why assume that a person only has one career?
Traditionally, most people got their first job as young adults, and then remained in that field (often working for the same company) for life. In the past, there was much more of a tendency for people to define themselves (and be defined by others) in terms of their work. Today however, the 'one job for life' approach is extremely outdated; many if not most people can expect to change careers at various points in their lives, perhaps in line with their personal growth and changing interests, and the notion of a 'job for life' with one company is pretty much dead. Given this greater flexibility, and the scope that multiple careers can give for creative expression, it seems very silly to expect a person to be defined by just one the activities they happen to be doing right now.
Why should paid work count for more?
The question 'what do you do?' usually really means, 'what do you do to make money?' But most people do a lot more than the activities they are paid for, and in many cases, the non-paid work is more meaningful to the person who's doing it. Yet it may mean nothing to the questioner. But why should money-making actions count as more important? This is especially relevant when you consider that money - contrary to popular belief - doesn't necessarily come as a result of taking action, so money-making acitvities are not really all that important anyway! (for more on the money-action relationship, see 'The Key to Success - Attraction or Hard Work?')
Why should anyone have to explain themselves?
In trying to answer the queries of others, we can fall into the trap of letting their opinions mess up our own alignment. As Abraham puts it, "In the moment that you are interacting with another, who asks you a question, and you begin to answer the question, now at many levels of your being, you're trying to factor in their response to what you're about.
In other words, no-one, even those who live with you, no-one can understand your points of vibrational relativity. And the more you talk to them, the more you integrate what they're doing and thinking.
What's happening is, in your sensitivity to energy, you're concerning yourself with more than your two points of vibrational relativity, and whenever you do that, chaos ensues." (06-04-22A San Antonio TX, © Abraham-Hicks)
So, given that you may not want to answer this question, but that it's so common a form of introduction you're unlikely to avoid it, how should you respond? Don't worry - you don't have to let yourself be pigeonholed, and nor do you need to spend a lot of time and energy trying to explain why you'd rather not discuss it!
Abraham, as usual, has some sound advice. This is their response to a woman who had no financial need to work for a while, and found it difficult to explain to people what she was doing. It is also good advice for those who - for whatever reason - simply don't wish to explain to others what they do:
"So what you want to do, is get some answers together. When you control the conversation, you get to take it to where you want it to be. When you let someone else begin asking you questions, then they're going to take it where they want to be. So it's helpful to figure out what questions are that they might ask, and have some answers ...
People say, what are you doing? And you say, oh I'm just trying to decide what I want to do when I grow up. That'll head them off! ...
Just be playful with them. Don't give people answers that you know they can't handle, [or] they'll have their meltdown right in front of you, and because you care about how people feel, you're going to be in on their meltdown." (06-04-22A San Antonio TX, © Abraham-Hicks)
You might think, as did the guest at the seminar, that such a response could give an impression of flakiness or irresponsibility. This, according to Abraham, is not a problem:
"Some of the most magnificent creators we know would be considered flakes... the flake factor is you caring about somebody else thinks... we want you to rein yourself in, so that the only thing you care about are your two points of vibrational relativity... that's all. How you feel is what really matters, you see." (06-04-22A San Antonio TX, © Abraham-Hicks)
So, if you feel uncomfortable when people ask 'what do you do' now you know why these feelings may exist, and how you could respond in such a way that you retain your own power during the interaction!
